Dear Prudence.....

[spaniardx]

Just going by info in the letter, Satan would lose fingers from frostbite before the wife got her tubes tied! LW apparently knows this and is willing to be responsible.

[vitugglan]

Probably. That's why I think LW should have them both talk to Wife's doctor. The doctor can better tell them why Wife had such problems with the pregnancy, why she almost died, and why she was hospitalized for the last two months before delivery. It sounds like more of an overarching health problem than a one-time thing to me. There are one-time things that would affect any given pregnancy, such as TTTS en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin-to-twin_transfusion_syndrome that is specific to a single pregnancy but wouldn't affect later pregnancies. Mom's health could be affected by something like that, but it's usually something like discomfort, contractions, and swelling, not heart problems that nearly kill her. That's why I think there's something with Mom that would preclude any other pregnancies and, for her own health and safety, she needs to hear it.

[spaniardx]

Should I Tell My Brother I Found the $20,000 He Hid in a Teddy Bear’s Butt?
slate.com/human-interest/2019/05/hiding-money-in-house-advice.html

Letter #3"

Not on social media:
It might help to have a little stock explanation prepared so you’re not just hitting them with a flat “no” ... “I don’t see a use for them in my life,” which might imply that you think everyone else is frivolous for using social media.

OK, how the h3ll does Danny-boy here get the implication that because some doesn't use social media they think everyone else doing it is frivolous?
I have no interest in Facebook, LinkedIn, Pintrest, Snapchat or any of the other outlets of that type. But, that's me being my grouchy self and not throwing shade any one else who uses them.
Shame on you, Danny!

[vitugglan]

Some employers insist on seeing your social media site, to the point of asking for your log-in so they can see the things you only share with certain people. It's getting ridiculous. I have Facebook (I get most of my grandkid pics that way and keep up with old friends from jr. high school - don't think us old fogeys are tech illiterate, younglings!), Twitter (I don't actually use it but I do get email updates on friends' posts so I keep up that way - that darned thing goes whipping by so fast I don't think anyone can really keep up), Instagram (not sure why, I think it was to keep in touch with someone who is now on Facebook anyway), Pinterest (some really good photos people have there), but no Snapchat (I mean, really, why? If you want to send me a pic, text or message it. Mmm-kay?).

I think Danny gets that impression because people will virtue-signal by turning their noses up to social media. I had a teacher in college who ranted on about Twitter at least once a week (class only met two days a week) and the students in the class all sat there and virtuously agreed with him (most probably had Twitter accounts but, hey, he's the teacher) and there are other more high-profile folks who act that way. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone thinks that way when they don't have social media. It's like people I've heard recently saying that boys who like 'girly' things as children, and girls who were tomboys, turn out to be gay. I'm happily heterosexual and was a tomboy to the point of having Tonka trucks and an Erector Set. People broad-brush too much, but it's becoming a bad part of our culture.

[spaniardx]

My 7-Year-Old Is Worried About Her Little Mustache

Actually, mom needs to have the girl tested for thyroid for starters (excess body hair... including thicker mustaches for her gender .. is one of the symptoms). Then, when puberty is running her over, keep an eye out for PCOS.

OK, not a dear prudence letter. It's care and feeding. This is what happens when I interwebs without my morning caffeine...

[vitugglan]

Yeah, check with a doctor. Some ethnicities have more and darker facial hair that might show up as a 'mustache' so there's that possibility, too.

[spaniardx]

My Friends Did Cocaine at Our Kids’ School Fundraiser

I love my kids’ school. It’s quirky, a bit scruffy, diverse, and the teachers are great.... Once a year there is a big fundraiser just for the parents. There is a bar and dancing, and it’s a fun night out. I was having a lovely time until the mother of one of my daughter’s best friends told me that she’d just had some cocaine with the mother of another of my daughter’s friends.

I have no words other than what the absolute fractured Hell?!"

And LW wants to know what to do with this information. :: face palm so hard my great-great grand-kids fall over unconscious ::

OK. Found some words:

Lady, never let your kidlet(s) stay with this family (or the family of her co-snort) ever again. Because, if you don't report these women -- but some one else does -- and your kidlet(s) are at their house when the DEA SWAT team comes kicking down doors and causing everyone to soil their Fruit of the Looms you will lose custody of your child(ren). Maybe even permanently with a charge of Child Endangerment.

[vitugglan]

I want to express my disapproval and check if this happens in their home lives (i.e., while they have care of their own kids or are looking after mine) while not coming across as a jerk or a judgmental prude.

It's possible that this was so rare that she had to mention it. IIRC, people who do drugs regularly don't go around mentioning it, even to friends. It's possible, though, that this person was so desensitized to the deed that it's nothing to even worry about, which would make me wonder about how well she minds the kids when they're at her house. In fact, just mentioning it when she has no idea if LW snorts, means that she has some skewed way of thinking.

I think LW could have mentioned this to the principal or the teacher in charge. The school could get in trouble if this gets out. This mom of a friend sure opened a can of worms by tattling on herself and her snort-buddy!

[spaniardx]

My Fiancée and I Are Second Cousins

The first one, I think current circumstances may help them out. Just get married with the officiant and two witnesses. Then move to the new digs and forget to let his folks have an address, block them on all social media platforms. That seems to be the done thing now. And block their numbers on the cell phones.

"Smoking Neighbors": not enough aloe on the planet (go Prudie!). I read this one to Eldest Spawn in my "stereotypical really bad Southern" accent. Not too sure how Southern it might be. My Texas is 'bout as thick as p'con divinity.

[vitugglan]

Second cousins: BFD. There's enough separation that the usually predicted consequences wouldn't happen (and probably wouldn't happen if they were first cousins unless there was a history of interbreeding). The problem is LW's family. They can't let it rest, they're uneducated, and they shouldn't be a part of LW's family's life. Maybe someday they'll come around, but for the foreseeable future, distance is a good friend.

Smoking neighbors: Oh, for Pete's sake! I thought it would be a joint-wall apartment issue. No! It's the people across the street. LW is nosey and interfering. Keep your long biddy-beak to yourself. Now, if she had a fairly decent relationship with them and shared that she's allergic to smoke, once she convinces them that she's not one of those people who pretend to be allergic just to meddle in other people's lives, they would probably not smoke around her. I smoke, and I have a friend whose medication makes her allergic. I don't smoke around her. Note: a friend. Not a busybody neighbor who has no interaction with me except to criticize.